When souls drift - Part 7

The whole narration was a huge secret unfolded before Sanjeev. He was dumbfounded. Tears rolled down his eyes. Raj slowly approached the cold man and sat on the floor in front of him. He held Sanjeev’s hands in his and looking straight in his eyes said “Sanjeev, I know this has been a great shock for you too. For 25 years I lived a lavish and stylish life and I know what both of you must have been through. I had captured your right till now. I want to give all that you deserve. I know Savitriji had told you that your father had died just after your birth. Even dad knew this. She was a very brave lady. But now that both of them are no more with us, we can come together and be a family. Can’t we? Please Sanjeev…please forgive dad…please…pl….”and then both of them burst out in tears.

Sanjeev kept his hands on Raj’s head and caressed his younger brother. Controlling his tears he finally spoke up “Rajendra…I know and I can understand what you must be going through. All my life I missed my dad’s presence. Ironically, whenever I read anything about Mr. Vikramraj Sardesai, all I could do was to idolize him. And strangely mom never stopped me. I have seen poverty and the pains that maa took to bring her only son up. All my life I crave for everything. But sorry Raj…I can’t come with you and neither can I take anything from you. There are two reasons to this. Maa always lived in honor. I needed a father’s name and she did give it to me…Ganesh…probably because she had totall faith in this God. Sanjeev Ganesh Joshi. That’s my identity.” saying so Sanjeev became silent.

Staring deeply in his brother’s eyes Raj stated “I can understand Sanjeev... I too respect maa very much…but…anyways…and what is the second reason?”

Very steadily and calmly Sanjeev he got up from the chair and opened the showcase. Raj was still sitting on the floor, his eyes following his brother. Sanjeev then handed over a small family photograph to Raj. From the first look itself anybody could make out that this was Sanjeev’s family. A smiling and contented family; a small baby in the arms of its mother and Sanjeev smiling besides them.

“It’s my nephew or niece?” Raj felt a great sense of pride and happiness inside him. This joy was much better than the grief of losing his father. He could see a new family bonding.

“Oh, it’s a boy. We took this picture an year ago.” Sanjeev replied with a smile.

“So where are they? I want them too.” Raj became a little impatient and a lot excited.

“I know Raj I am being selfish right now. I won’t ask for a promise or any sort of commitment. It’s utterly your choice. I won’t be able to come with you but if it is possible, please take my family along with you. Anjali, my wife and my son Abhay, both don’t stay with me. They……they stay with her parents. We meet everyday but then they leave in the afternoon.” Sanjeev was hesitant yet very clear in his talk. He was crying again.

“But why? Is there some sort of a dispute or something? Could I help you out? Sanjeev, I crave for a family. This is the best gift for me. And even you people deserve all the joys, don’t you! Please…what is it…” Raj was literally begging before his helpless brother.

“It’s not a family issue Raj. It can never be. Anjali is too good a person to break anyone’s heart. It is me who asked them to leave this place. I had to Raj, I had to.”

Raj thought this was a total repetition of what his father had done to Savitri. He almost yelled at Sanjeev “But Why…”

Sanjeev calmly looked in his younger brother’s eyes and said “After 30 years…my cancer surfaced Raj! Maximum 5 months. I don’t my son to go through all this. I literally forced Anjali out of this place. The treatment won’t be any good and I don’t want my family to pay for it after I am gone.”

A month later

Raj introduced Anjali and Abhay to their home. Sanjeev was admitted to one of the largest hospitals in city. Raj was trying his level best to save his brother but to no avail. They all knew their destiny. They all knew they lost a lot but they gained something out of it. Something and someone!

The End

When souls drift - Part 6

This was it; the ultimate blow on Sanjeev’s mind. The respect and honor for Raj suddenly diminished and all of a sudden he stood up. His forehead and eyes narrowed and staring at Raj all that he could his say was “What the…!”

“Relax…please relax and sit down Sanjeev. I know this is too much for you but please let me complete the whole story. And please do not interrupt before I finish. Please sit down.”

The perspiring Sanjeev sat back slowly and went silent. Raj’s request to remain silent till he finishes was unnecessary for him. He was already speechless.

Raj continued with a huge sigh. “29 years ago, our father Vikramraj married Savitriji i.e. your mother...in fact…our mother. This was a love marriage. Savitriji came from a very poor family i.e. the Joshi’s from Ratnagiri. Our grandfather and the entire Sardesai family were strictly against this love-story. Luckily dad had a nice hold on his family and thus no one had the guts to fire against him. Eventually mom settled down in the family.”

Up till now Sanjeev had at least a slight doubt that there was a huge misunderstanding. But the details given by Raj registered the assurance that this utterly true. Sanjeev’s mom was indeed Savitri who hailed from Ratnagiri. He heaved a huge sigh and tried to concentrate more on Raj’s every word. This was getting exciting every moment.

“After you were born, mom was diagnosed with some sort of cancer that shook the whole family. The doctors even said that they fear this had infected the baby too i.e. you. Vikramraj Sardesai, a young and shallow man couldn’t take this and instead of being with his son and wife he started to ignore them. He was so much affected by this sudden catastrophe that he didn’t even care to ask the doctors about the chances of your and maa’s survival. Eventually, mom was shifted to a hospital ward and later the family, including her husband, stopped visiting the hospital. Dad told me all this a day before he died. The pain of ignorance was more killing than the actual pain of the disease and its treatment. Lucky for her, that the fees of the hospital weren’t stopped. You were still a baby and till a year or so she was in the hospital. Miraculously, she was saved. The heavy treatment had taken away the entire beauty of the innocent woman. After the treatment she knew she wouldn’t be accepted by her shallow and mean husband. She wrote a letter to him and left the hospital without intimating anyone about her destination. Probably she herself wasn’t aware of it. No one knew and no one from the Sardesais cared to trace both of you. After 4 years, dad married his family’s choice…Kalyani…my mother. We were very happy till mom passed away a few months ago and utterly shocked by this, dad had a massive heart-attack. The cardiac arrest took him to the ICU where he had been admitted since the past 2 months. Last Monday he passed away, but the entire incident made him repent deeply. At times I had seen him weeping like a baby. We thought it was because he missed and loved mom too much. But this was just one reason. Last Sunday he asked the doctors to meet me urgently. He told me everything and then gave me your address. He wanted to say sorry to Savitriji…wanted to say sorry to both of you. But when he learnt that maa had passed away an year ago, he knew it was too late.”

When souls drift - Part 5

Slightly bent with a high level of nervousness he turned to Raj and said “Would you like…aaaa...would you like to have some water?”

All of a sudden Raj’s cheeks and chin started shaking. His eyes turned red and all of a sudden he broke down again. By this time Sanjeev was intensely shocked by this new scene before him. He could not understand the way to handle this scenario. Sanjeev was almost trying to calm his heartbeats when all of a sudden Raj bent down and touched his feet.

“What…Mr. Rajendra…please, what are you doing…please get up…sit here” trying his level best Sanjeev was pacifying the young man. He made Raj sit on the couch and ran inside to fetch a glass of water. The earthen pot was almost empty but Sanjeev could get at least a glass for the man in grief. While Raj gulped down every drop, Sanjeev stood by his side and patted him on his back.

“Thanks…Sanjeev, can I get a cup of coffee…please!”
The duo then sat in front of each other; Raj sat on the couch while Sanjeev sat on a creeky black steel chair. Sanjeev had now worn a shirt and a trouser. The old pajama and the torn yellow baniyan were shed-off and lay strewn on the bedroom floor inside.

After a full 30 minutes of speechless atmosphere, Raj looked at the totally puzzled Sanjeev. The poor fellow wanted to ask Raj the reason of his arrival but in no way had he the guts to say so. The suspense was killing him. All sorts of negative questions ran through his mind. But in know way could he figure out absolutely anything.

Raj broke the silence.

“Sanjeev…the day before Mr. Vijayraj Sardesai i.e. my father passed away.”

“Yes I know that. I mean…the whole world was shocked. He was really a great man. You must be really grieved by his absence.” Raj tried to be as consoling as possible.

Raj continued “I know…he was a great man! Tell me something Sanjeev. Did you ever meet him…ever…even once? In the last 30 years of your life, has he ever been anywhere near you or your family?”

Sanjeev nodded in negation and continued “Please sir…please tell me what’s the matter? If unknowingly I have committed a mistake then please tell me. You are almost killing me. I am a small person Mr. Rajendra. I mean why would he want to meet me? I work as an accountant in the bank. Even if he ever visited our bank, he would have surely met the Manager or someone above him. Why would such great man ever meet me?”

Raj gave a sharp look at the nervous fellow and continued “Why! Strange that you are asking this question Sanjeev! Strange that Vikramraj Sardesai’s elder son is asking this.”

When souls drift - Part 4

The man who had gone inside to get Sanjeev then came out holding the hands of a young man in his early thirties. Looking at Raj, this man too rejoiced in utter surprise and joined his hands to welcome the celebrity.

“Oh Mr. Sardesai! I…I mean… you… what… please… please…come in. What a surprise!” the nervous fellow couldn’t say anything more than this.

“Sanjeev…Sanjeev Joshi, from the State Bank of India?” Raj wanted to be sure he was meeting the right person.

“Yes…I am Sanjeev Joshi. Please come in Sir, please sit here.” The nervousness continued.

Raj, without saying a word, kept on staring at the Sanjeev. Both the men were very astonished on seeing Rajendra Sardesai in front of them. Raj totally ignored the other fellow and sat on the couch, still looking at Sanjeev’s astonished face. He now breathed heavily and shook inside his suit.

“Sanju…wait I’ll call Rohan. Sir, Rohan is my son. 15 years old…Sir. My family would love to meet you...Sir” Sanjeev’s neighbor was about to step out of the house.

“Excuse me…wait…Mister…!” Raj stopped the excited man.

“Prakash Sharma…Sir” the man introduced himself.

“Mr. Sharma, I am really honored by your respect, but you see I have come to meet Sanjeev here. I would surely love to meet your family but…” looking hesitantly at Sanjeev he said “…but could you please…please leave us alone for some time. It’s very important.”

This statement shook both the neighbors. Sharma was stunned that a man like Rajendra Sardesai had something important to share with a middle-class man like Sanjeev Joshi. On the other hand, Sanjeev was not only shocked but a bit intimidated. The enthusiasm was suddenly crushed and the trio went silent for a few seconds.

“Sure Sir…I will leave, but please don’t go without meeting me and my family Sir. It’s not everyday that people like us get to meet a personality like you…Sir.” Prakash almost bent on his knees as if he could fall at Raj’s feet any moment. A slight wave at Sanjeev and Mr. Sharma hurried out of the door.

Raj looked at Sanjeev and said “Could we please close the door!”

“Oh yes sure, sure!” Sanjeev hurriedly shut the main door. By now he was literally perspiring with fear and excitement.

When souls drift - Part 3

A sigh mixed the sound of the rain water; a sigh which reflected excitement and a lot of nervousness. He looked at the stairs and started ascending them slowly towards the third floor. A gulp went down his throat as he ascended each step at a time. He was very mechanical in his walk. Occasional sounds of the T.V. came from closed off-white doors. Some old woman was chatting in her neighbor’s living room. Looking at the drenched Raj she stopped her unnecessary and useless discussion and after a brief glance at him continued with it. Raj ignored everyone and slowly reached the third floor. Clad in an off-white baniyan and a blue checkered lungi a middle aged man was wiping his feet to a foot rug.

“Whom do you want?” he inquired the puzzled and stressed out Raj.

Moving his hands over his head, Raj tried to comb his wet hair with his two palms. Looking at the gentleman he said “Sanjeev…Sanjeev Joshi”.

“Aren’t you…Rajendra Sardesai!” the innocent fellow went ecstatic. He vigorously shook hands with the highly successful businessman. Raj saw a huge fan in the man’s eyes.

“Could you please tell me where Sanjeev lives?”

“Here, this way, come sir…please come…Sanjuuuu…a Sanjuuuuu…Sanjuuuuuu” the fellow welcomed Raj as if he were his own guest.

Raj removed his shoes and placed tried to place them on the shoe rack. The old wooden rack was already filled with shoes, an old rug, some toy, a small plant in a very filthy pot. He kept his shoes near the rack and looked at the living room of Sanjeev Joshi’s small home. The walls were very light blue in color. A small effigy of the laughing Buddha faced the door. An old showcase was placed in the corner of the room. A mattress lay on the floor with a few corners all torn out. A brown couch faced the television. The room had two doors, one showing the balcony and the other showing the kitchen. A very inexpensive poster of Aishwarya Rai was stuck on one of the walls. The entire look narrated the simplest life possible for Raj. His bathroom would be more expensive than the whole 750 sq. feet block that Sanjeev Joshi lived in.

When souls drift - Part 2

It was raining heavily in both the places; outside the car and inside Raj. He sped as if he was eager to meet his death in a road accident. The tires screeched and so did his heart. Calmly he looked at the newspaper which was lying on the adjacent seat. The car came to a sudden halt in such a way that a huge truck almost crashed into it. Unperturbed by the other vehicles passing by, Raj looked at his father’s picture in the headlines of ‘The Times Of India’. All he asked looking at the picture was “Why dad…why! Why did you do this?”

Without caring about the torrential rains he stepped out of the car. His lavish clothes were drenched in no time. In the rains it is always easy to cry like a baby. No one to notice; except you!

“Excuse me…” He asked this to a passerby who was in a great hurry to reach his home. Even after holding the umbrella, the old man was drenched in the rainwater.

“Where is Shantikunj Apartment?”

The old fellow pointed to an old building across the street and walked away. Even after being such a huge celebrity, his entire appearance covered his true identity. The old man’s mind did try to travel back in time and was trying to figure out the identity of the handsome yet worn-out face. He gave up in a few seconds and hurried in the opposite direction. Raj was totally unaware of whatever place he was in. Never ever, in his entire life, had he seen this part of the city. The roads had seen tar at least 5 years ago. Grocery shops, fruit vendors, vegetable stalls, cattle and numerous parked two wheelers completed the whole

scene. Raj’s Mercedes had become an issue of great wonder for all the vagabonds of the alley. He himself looked like a total misplaced thing in the small world of that middle class geography. The road had very few vehicles. He crossed the road and entered the creaky gates of the “Shantikunj Apt.”.

The rusty board on the building could barely tell the location of its residents. Raj narrowed his eyes and in the heavy rains his eyes started descending the list of people. Suddenly at the third floor he fixated on a name and muttered to himself,

“Flat number 16…A-Wing…Sanjeev Joshi”

When souls drift - Part I

“Vikramraj Sardesai”! He calmly moved his fingers over the small plate that bore this name and which was nailed to the beautiful gold frame. The elegant and dynamic Vikramraj looked handsome even at the age of 52 and this photograph was a proof of that man’s stature and personality. His father was a great man, he knew it, and all that he could think of at that point in time, was every single moment that he had spent with him; especially before his father breathed his last. Wiping off the tears he picked up the heavy photo-frame and hung it on the wall of his swanky cabin. Very calmly he then lit the diya kept on the brown teak plank in front of the huge frame. The fragrance of the agarbatti mixed with that of the garland, then filled the entire room. Clasping his hands tightly he kept on staring at his father’s eyes and all of a sudden burst out in tears. “Rajendra Sardesai” – Age-26, Times-Businessman of the Year and a huge corporate celebrity was finally crying his heart out after avoiding the shutterbugs that wanted to cover his father’s funeral. Out of all the moments, the only ones to run through his mind were the last few hours that he had spent with his father in the ICU. His father had talked for 15 minutes before the cardiogram went totally silent. Vikramraj was an idol for generations and Rajendra (Raj) was his biggest admirer. A huge secret was let out in those 15 minutes; a secret that made a sharp impact on his father’s image. With a final shaky sigh he raised his head and after a brief glance at his father’s portrait he turned back and left the room. The entire staff was about to leave for the day. Without caring about anyone’s good-byes & greetings he just trotted out of the office and towards the parking lot.

‘Bahadur’, his driver had just lit his cigarette and was resting his back against the black shining Mercedes. Raj suddenly appeared before him, and startled by this sudden appearance of the big boss, the man nervously dropped the cigarette. Looking at the red eyes, the driver went speechless and doddering with utter fear he simply dropped the cigarette. He had done nothing wrong; even he knew it. But the sheer presence of his ‘Chote Sahib’ took the hell out of him. A few seconds went very silent. Raj looked at the fallen cigarette and bent down to pick it up. Bahadur stepped back a bit. Raj held the cigarette in front of him. It was still burning.

“Take this…there’s nothing to fear about” he assured Bahadur with utter coldness in his voice.

Shaking and still not sure about what he was doing, Bahadur simply took the half-crippled, half –lit nicotine stick.

“Keys” Raj asked with a raised hand.

“I…I…I am sorry Sahib! I won’t smoke again. This won’t happen ever again.” Bahadur was almost on his feet.

“I said Relax! Just give me the car keys. I would be driving the car myself today. There’s nothing to worry about.” Raj said this with a very shaky voice. The redness of his eyes had grown now.

“Sahib…you relax sahib…Tell me where we have to go. I’ll take you there. You don’t seem to be in…”

“Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyssssssss” Raj yelled so harshly that the entire parking lot echoed with his voice. A few other people, who were leaving for the day, started looking at the two men; as if Bahadur was being fired by his boss. Stunned by this sudden hysteric verbal attack, Bahadur stumbled to get the keys out of his pocket and handed them over to Raj. Ina few minutes, the black machine raced out of the parking lot.